Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Posted on June 13, 2008
We all have things we love, things that we “just can’t do without” in our lives. 
In our society most of us don’t need to go without anything. For the most part, we can satisfy most of our desires fairly simply, so we tend to do so.
Let’s say, for the sake of example, that you’re a regular chocolate eater. Most days you have a small bar of chocolate, and you generally enjoy it… but it’s daily, so it’s nothing special. That bar costs, say, 2 dollars. It’s only a small bar, so its not too bad for you.
Of course, because you buy it every day, you don’t splash out and get the really good stuff - you get something that’s decent quality, but fairly generic - nothing special. Because it’s every day, you don’t pay a huge amount of attention to it while you’re eating it, you probably do it kinda absent-mindedly, while doing something else.
Now imagine going without chocolate for a week. Then, at the end of the week, you take the 14 dollars (or so) you would have spent on chocolate, and go to the best chocolate shop in town, and get some… say, 7 of their most exquisite chocolates. You go home, and get yourself comfortable. You slowly unwrap your purchases, then consider your selection, picking one to start. You could easily fit the whole thing in your mouth, but you don’t, you just nibble it, letting the little pieces you’ve bitten off melt in your mouth. You work your way through to the flavoured centre, slowly devouring the whole piece, luxuriating in the flavours. When you finish that one, you have 6 more to go. When eating them, you’re doing nothing but that - just eating them. Your full attention is on the chocolate.
Now, chocolate, that’s my beloved’s vice. Me, mine is bourbon (well, one of mine - I have a number). Some years ago, I stopped buying cheap and drinking frequently, and started buying expensive and drinking infrequently. As a result, I get more enjoyment out of the bourbon I drink. The same applies to steak - give me a smallish piece of quality ribeye once a month rather than a largish piece of rump once a week, and I’ll enjoy it far more.
Right now, I’m doing this with coffee. A couple of months back, I kicked my daily coffee habit, where I’d make a coffee soon after arriving at work, and drink it while working. Half the time I’d get distracted or called away, and it would get cold, but I’d finish it anyway (I’ve been drinking coffee like this for years, so that was never really a problem for me). Now, besides the negative health benefits of coffee, there was also the refined sugar - also not that good for me. At home, I have a great coffee maker. I buy good quality coffee, and make it in the stovetop. Good quality coffee, well extracted, I often have without sugar. The process of making the coffee is almost ritualised, and I find this adds to my enjoyment. Of course, I’m a busy sorta guy, so this isn’t something I do every day (and that would spoil the point somewhat), so this is a weekend treat, something I do once a week or so, if I’m having a lazy weekend morning around home.
I think this approach is particularly useful when the little something you normally have a wee bit of every so often, but perhaps you partake a bit more frequently than you’re comfortable with, or you know that it’s bad for you, except in moderation (and you’re not quite on the right side of moderation right now).
What I’ve learned is that I can take more enjoyment from the higher quality, less frequently. Especially if it’s something that’s bad for me (and let’s face it most things I really enjoy are), then I can do my health a favour as well. Depending on what it is, I might even save some money, which makes it a triple win.
Add New Comment
Thanks. Your comment is awaiting approval by a moderator.
Do you already have an account? Log in and claim this comment.