Need? Really?
Posted on January 19, 2009
We all tend to do it – overuse the word “need”.
Our needs are few. Safe drinking water. Adequate food. Shelter from the elements. Those things that are absolutely essential. The term “essential need” is a tautology – like the Department of Redundancy Department, or an unmarried bachelor because needs are, by definition, essential.
A bigger TV isn’t in that list. Neither is a new suit, a faster computer, an interesting career.
We seem to live in a culture of overstatement, everything has to be bigger, better, more, larger, more flamboyant or urgent to get attention. People have migraines instead of headaches. Please have “the flu” instead of a cold. You say you need a new TV, but really, you just want one.
Perhaps we’re taught this as children – we “need” things, because it sounds more important to our parents than just wanting, and we *really* want them to pay attention to our wants. That’s no reason we shouldn’t try to grow out of that habit. It’s reinforced by the media, where everything is overstated to gain attention (and drive up sales), and the rest of the world just follows along.
By overstating our wants as needs, we devalue the word need.
If you’re going to do that when talking to other people (and really, I’d encourage you not to), then please, don’t do it in your own head. Acknowledge your wants for what they are, and act on them accordingly.
When you do this for a while, it’s remarkably freeing. As our “needs” become fewer, the status of our “wants” return to optional, and we have a lot more freedom. We don’t have to work the extra hours to get that new TV, that new suit. We save more money, not spending it on trivialities. We have more time if we only want to watch that TV program, not need to watch it.
Language has power, even if it’s only the language of our internal dialogue. Try getting rid of the word need from your thoughts, and see what a change it can make to you.
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