Letting Go #5: Disappointment
Posted on July 5, 2009
It’s natural to be disappointed about certain things. Something doesn’t go as well as you hoped, or perhaps even the complete opposite of your planning, and the temptation is to be down on yourself about this natural turn of events. Perhaps you didn’t get that job that would have been a great step forward in your career, that guy you’ve been hanging out with (and crushing on) just told you about his new girlfriend, or your exam results weren’t what you expected when you were studying so hard.
Here’s the important thing.
It only matters as much as you make it matter.
If you didn’t get the job, then you know there will be a better job for you some time in the future. Perhaps you need more time in your current role first, maybe you need to work on your skills or re-write your CV.
Maybe the guy’s a complete jerk to his girlfriends, underdeveloped in the under-pants department, or cheap about paying for dinner.
It’s possible that you studied *too* hard for the exam, or focused on the wrong thing while studying.
Maybe the universe knows something you don’t, and is helping you out here. (Now, I’m not exactly what you’d call religious, but I find it helps my personal attitude to act as if I believe in a benevolent universe. Deep down, I’m kinda conflicted about it, but I’m OK with feeling like the universe wants what’s good for me, i’s a nice feeling, and it helps me get past things a bit quicker.)
Clinging to disappointment is akin to regret – or, as I’ve called it before, holding a grudge against yourself.
First, ask yourself who you’re helping (and how) by being disappointed. Odds are, it’s no-one. Then decide to move on from it.
By “move on”, I don’t mean forget – that’s no way to grow, to learn. Analyse, dissect, evaluate – all of that, sure. But do it in a semi upbeat kind of way (which, since I’m a sucker for plays on words, amuses me, as it’s pretty much the opposite of beating up on yourself).
Disappointment just isn’t worth hanging on it, like those shoes that are worn out that you just know you’re neer going to get around to replacing. So, just let it go…
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